Letting go
As a parent letting go is one of the hardest thing you can do. Shifting roles into a supporting role is challenging, but more so when your kids decide to spread their wings and fly. Faith has always had a love for travel. It is one of the things that sets her soul on fire. She approaches traveling with a wild abandonment and when she sets her mind to something there is no stopping her. It started freshman year of college during COVID when she was getting a little stir crazy and she needed out. She decided she was going to travel to Seattle, Washington and if no one else could come she would go by herself, so I followed my heart and booked a flight to meet her. We had an amazing weekend and there were many amazing trips that followed, but what I hadn’t anticipated was that her love for traveling would grow and I wouldn’t be able to always be there.
Fast forward to December of 2022 when Faith decided she needed to travel to Oregon and she would do it by herself. She booked a flight to Seattle where she would rent a car to drive to the Airbnb in the middle of the woods that she had booked. To say I was concerned would be an understatement. I was borderline stalking her to make sure she arrived safe and sound in the middle of the woods all while trying to seem put together. Once I knew she has gotten there safely I began to breathe again and tried to get some sleep.
The next day Faith called me excited about her cute little cabin and filled me in on her plans for the trip. Her plans included various site seeing, which all seemed harmless enough, and meeting up with Max who she had friended earlier that day on an app who was a local and could show her the area. She promptly texted me his contact information including the address she would pick him up from to ease my concern. It did not ease my concern. In fact nothing would have eased my concern. So I did what I’ve grown up doing and I gave it to God. Remembering to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Faith ended up having an amazing time and has grown into the fierce woman I raised her to be. She loves unconditionally, sees the best in everyone, is curious and in a constant state of learning and exploring. She’s exactly who I hoped she would grow up to be. Sometimes it’s hard to get out of the way and let them be who they were meant to be. The world can be full of so much heartache, but it is also full of so much good and beauty. She lives life without fear and refuses to let the world change who she is.
As I enter this next phase of my life with out kids at home, I find myself trying to rediscover who I am and what that looks like for me. While I may not have the answers quite yet, I hope to live this next phase as bravely as my daughter.
Love,
Dawn